Last Kodiak has died.

I have traveled the world giving you advice on how to get around and do things in some of the hardest to reach place on the planet. I am thankful for that. However, the cost of doing is way far more that I realized. (I am not talking money!)

It is wild to think about that I have helped people do everything from taking a ferry to the Philippines or visiting the zoo in Kansas City. I have told people where to go in Fiji and I have also helped people find out about Amtrak in America. I really was planning on traveling more in 2019.

When I came back to the United States, I plan to spend a year to 18 months to deal with some health’s challenges. Having a seizure disorder overseas is serious business. I realized living outside the US as a digital nomad just wouldn’t work for anymore.

Traveling is a second nature to me. I lived for it for many years. It was who I was and I lived for the next adventure. Jamaica and Haiti was next on the list. I wanted to spend some time in the Caribbean.

Then, something happened.

A morning in the Appalachians

One February morning, I was walking on a trail in the mountains thinking about life and what is next for me. To be honest, I could have seen myself doing what I have done for 20 more years.

Then I received an epiphany.

I had what experts in psychology would call a “intuitive grasp of reality.” I can’t really explain it any other way. I just become fully aware of things that I was not aware of. In the course of 30 minutes, my whole life changed.

I really became aware of the fact that an epiphany is really an experience that is attained by the mind without relational evidence that awakes one to lay hold or understand mentally a state of affairs or entity.

I was having this experience that I could not reason out but I was very much awakened to comprehend the significance of where I was in life.

In a matter of minutes, everything I had planned and everything I was doing became into question. The question was WHY am I doing what I am doing?

There was some soul searching that I had to do. I was understanding in a completely new way the cost of traveling the world and money had nothing to do with it. I sit there in a long morning of silence trying to figure out why I was making analysis of everything in life.

I knew something was changing and there was a rejuvenate focus of vision within me. I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t reason it, and I couldn’t explain it away.

Having grew up and still attend a Pentecostal church, I would say it was without question a spiritual experience. It was deeply troubling, upsetting but I knew I had an overcoming peace about it.

Canceling all travel plans

At the time, I was just cruising around America and seeing the country again. I had just came from a trip to Austin and Fort Worth in Texas. After seeing the deep south, Puerto Rico was on the radar. That is not anymore in the plans.

Since that morning, I can’t honestly say that I have the desire to travel anymore. It is does not burn in me anymore. If anything I feel some guilt related to it.

Guilt? Yes. I realize that I had neglected some pretty important things in life to make traveling possible. It was not cool to keep neglecting them anymore.

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